Chapter 5:6-7
I opened to my love,
But he had turned away and was gone.
My soul fled when he spoke.
I looked for him, but could not find him,
I called, but he did not answer,
Then the watchmen who circle the city found me,
They beat me, they bruised me
The watchmen of the walls
tore the shawl from my shoulders.
No longer numb,
I feel the full pain of separation from Love,
It is as if my own soul has left me.My fragrance mingles with the night,
We are drunk with it.The power of my yearning revives me,
Though I do not find my Beloved, I begin to find my
own voice, my own Passion. The silence that answers my call inspires me to call with more sweetness, more vitality.The story of awakening: I was so much more comfortable asleep. The “watchmen,” Awareness itself, will not allow the old self and its layers of defense to survive. They tear the shawl from my shoulder, stripping away my disguise, leaving me vulnerable to the pain of loving.
If I protect myself from that Pain, the Joy of Love will also be withheld.
Old habits lure me back to sleep, murmuring that I will be beaten and bruised by Life’s constant changes. But only Awake can I finally meet Love and become Your powerful and passionate Divine partner.
In the Fever of Love ©2008 Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.
Practice
Chant: Beaten and Bruised
Commentary
On this path of love, we become more and more vulnerable, which means that we have made a commitment to feel our pain rather than numb ourselves or erect defenses. Those “watchmen of the walls,” are the forces that stand between us and the pain we have tried to avoid. They strip us of our artifice, take away our well-built strategies of fortifications. We stand beaten and bruised by the vicissitudes of Life: by sorrows (named and unnameable), by losses, by suffering that feels both personal and universal.
This practice allows us to feel bruised, beaten and exposed. We do this practice when we are ready, layer by layer for our egoic defenses to be stripped away. When we are ready to feel in the places that have gone numb, then love can find us. And then love emerges from the depths of our being, to permeate, heal and transform the places of trauma and pain we have carried.
Bridge to Torah
The book of Leviticus ends with the promise of blessing, when we walk in alignment with holiness, as well as stark warnings and fierce admonitions when we miss the chance of fulfilling our holy destiny. That same missed opportunity for holy connection is described in the Song of Songs. When we finally come to our senses and open to the Love which has been knocking, our Beloved has gone and we experience the same hardships that Bechukotai describes — the terror of being a victim of the violence of this world. We learn the hard lessons of love.
Click to see Leviticus 26:3–27:34 in Hebrew and English (JPS 1985) or the associated Torah Journeys page.
Questions for Contemplation
Can I let myself feel the places in me that have been bruised and beaten by life? Can I express my grief and then turn towards the faith that I am held? Can I lean into that Divine embrace and be transformed by those hardships?
Resources
View Love at the Center Resources.
Click to see Song of Songs Chapter 5:6-7 in Hebrew with the English JPS (1985) translation.