Torah Meditation
On Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, the Torah tells us of the miracle of Birth and our holy response. On Rosh Hashanah we become Sarah feeling the miracle of new life stirring within us. Our response is laughter (Yitzchak). In the cycle of death and re-birth, true re-birth comes as a surprise. And with Sarah we say, “Who could have imagined that I could be nurturing new life! At my age! With so many failures and disappointments behind me! Who could have imagined that hope could be re-kindled in this world filled with despair! Who could imagine that Love would enter my life again! That the creative impulse would inspire me after laying dormant for so long! Who could have known that I would give birth to a new life, a new vision of what’s possible, in spite of my cynicism! And my laughter is born out of the paradox of knowing that by all logic, re-birth is impossible. After all I have been touched by so much death. And so much has died within me. Yet here I am laughing a contagious laugh. And here we are feasting a New Year.”
On these Yomim Nora-im, these days of awesome challenge, the Torah tells us of the profound crisis we all face. The crisis is acted out in the disintegration of family, in the dissolution of community, and in the divisions between nations. Ultimately the source of this crisis is found inside each of us in the place where fear awakens cruelty. With Abraham we send Hagar into the wilderness. Hagar means “the stranger.” What have I disowned? What part of myself have I rejected or denied? That is what I will project on “the other,” “the stranger.” Whatever we have done to the stranger, has also been done to us. As Hagar, we wander broken-hearted, clutching bare bread and water. And when our meager resources are spent, we close our eyes in despair crying out, “Let me not look upon the death of the child, the death of hope, the death of possibility. ”
On Rosh Hashanah the hope that was destroyed, the possibilities that were spent, the child who was lost within us cries out and is heard. As Hagar, as the stranger, our eyes are opened to the miracle that was always in front of us. “And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water.” These are healing waters that revive the heart and soul that has been wearied and pushed past the edge of death. Our healing comes in being heard at last. Our wholeness comes in being seen and known and loved beyond measure. Our redemption comes in the grace of having our eyes finally opened to the miracle that is right here, right now.
©2003 Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.