If someone handed me a Judaism that was formed and fixed and said, “Here this is yours,” I would reject that “thing,” knowing that if I accepted it, it would constrict me, imprison me in a closed system. Its internal logic would be compelling and I would be trapped.
The offer that I heard was different. It was a challenge to engage with my inheritance in a way that would make me more alive. When I hear Thich Nat Han say that “your ancestors live inside you,” I knew that it was true. And I knew that they were asking something of me.
I can’t resist a challenge. This is the challenge I receive each time I engage Jewishly:
- Love God/Reality with my whole heart soul and might.
- Receive the flow of Great Love that is flowing from the Source.
- Continually do the work that opens these flows.
- Use the treasures of my inheritance to do this work.
That inheritance is the raw material that I use as an artist of the sacred.
What I’ve learned about my engagement with Torah is that judging it, good or bad, ends the conversation. It is only through the conversation that I am enriched. Instead of judging, I ask the question, “How might this be useful?” This is a question that opens my creative flow.
What I’ve learned in my engagement in the process of Judaism is that if I take too big a bite, I can’t digest it: it either makes no sense or I become overwhelmed. But when I take one small bite, I can extract from it immeasurable beauty and sustenance. I can be fed and the share the bounty.
When I look into the treasure-house, I am waiting to see what sparkles today, what lights up my heart, what fires my imagination, what stirs my passion, what disturbs me. Then I know to start digging, beautifying, exploring and creating. This process is “Jewishing.” It looks different every day.
I let myself be fascinated and informed by the past. I listen to the call of possibilities as they bubble up through my imagination and dreams. And I rest gratefully in the richness of language, story, image, song, flavor, fragrance and textures that grace my life.
When I experience aversion, I know that it is an opportunity to investigate. Any path I choose will eventually lead me to the same schmutz, the same dark tangle. If I am patient and compassionate, that tangle will unravel to reveal a glimpse of the Mystery. That glimpse will encourage me to open further and to trust the process.
© Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.